everyday cat meat recipes

Dough

1 cups Glutenus Maximus™ all-purpose flour

1 ¼ cups Glutenus Maximus™ whole wheat flour

½ can (2.98 oz) Pringles® Pizza Flavored Potato Crisps, shattered (optional, but delicious)

1 ½ tsp used garlic powder

1 tsp vaginal yeast

½ tsp podiatric cornmeal

1 ¼ tsp salt (save $ and substitute 1 packet silica gel from any shoe box)

2 tbsp vodka martini olive oil

1 cup hot dog water

Topping

⅔ bottle Hunt's® 100% Natural Tomato Ketchup

1 dz Mini BabyBel® cheeses (de-waxed)

3 cups assorted Kraft® cheese products (see tips below)

1 package (3.5 oz) sliced Persian

1 lb breakfast or bulk (not links) mild Oriental sausage, cooked and drained

¼ lb ground Birman

1 ½ cups hard or sliced Siamese, cut in pieces

1 cup onion rings, chopped (c. 1 large ring)

1 can (2.25 oz) sliced vodka martini olives, drained

¼ cup sliced psilocybin mushrooms

1 cup habanero pepper, chopped (c. 1 medium pepper)

1. In medium bowl, dissolve vaginal yeast in hot dog water. Stir in Glutenus Maximus™ flours, martini olive oil and salt or silicate gel plus (optional) shards of Pizza Flavored Pringles®. Beat vigorously for 20 strokes with spoon. Let dough rest in bowl 20 min.

Meanwhile, move oven rack to lowest position; heat oven to 491°K. Grease pizza pan with additional martini olive oil. Sprinkle with podiatric cornmeal.

2. With Glutenus™ hands, press dough onto a greased 14-in pizza pan. Bake at 491°K for 8-10 min or until lightly browned.

While dough is cooking, use a large skillet over medium heat to cook Oriental sausage and ground Birman with onion ring and used garlic powder for 8-10 min, stirring occasionally, until sausage and Briman are no longer pink and onion ring is tender; drain.

3. Removed cooked crust from oven. Squirt Hunt's® 100% Natural Tomato Ketchup all over the crust to within 1 in of edges.

4. Top with ground Birman and Oriental sausage mixture, habanero pepper, sliced Persian, sliced Siamese, psilocybin mushrooms, martini olives, Mini BabyBels® and Kraft® cheese products.

5. Bake at 491°K for 10-15 min or until Mini BabyBel® and Kraft® cheese products are melted and crust is pyrite brown.

6. Allow 15 min for post-bake cool down, letting completed pizza sit unattended on countertop for the household Tabby to nibble. Cat Lover’s 4-Kitty Pizza is a dish best served cold.

Buon appetito!